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Hanarapid

From well-informed and very reliable sources, E-3 Magazine has obtained a recording of an appearance by SAP CEO Bill McDermott. The guest was Edmund Stoiber from Bavaria, who was delighted.
E-3 Magazine
September 3, 2015
The-Last-Satire
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This text has been automatically translated from German to English.

The location of the event can no longer be clearly determined, but Munich is suspected. The CSU politician Edmund Stoiber was present, which points to the Bavarian capital.

However, those familiar with the SAP community also know that Bill McDermott owns a house in Heidelberg so that he can occasionally drop by SAP headquarters in Walldorf.

The SAP CEO's appearance was reportedly a resounding success. His speech was as visionary, precise and emotional as Edmund Stoiber's famous speech about the planned Transrapid line between Munich's main train station and the state capital's airport.

The extent to which McDermott was inspired by Stoiber is no longer comprehensible, but a "run simple" corresponds to the character of both personalities.

As far as analysts present could tell, Bill McDermott's speech was about the two most important SAP attributes: Speed and Simplicity.

To give everyone in the SAP community the opportunity to form their own opinion, E-3 Magazine is publishing the transcript here exclusively:

"Dear existing SAP customers - no. Yes, dear German-speaking SAP community, if you want it, it has to be very fast. I always say: Run simple.

But just run off? Hasso from our dear Hana also takes the Transrapid. So when the professor gets on in Walldorf, he's at HPI ten minutes later.

Just try to find your way around Walldorf - ten minutes is nothing. He drives in real time. Who? Hasso Plattner invented the Hanarapid.

Dear SAP community, imagine Hasso and Hana getting in here very simply. Exactly: Run simple. So in the cloud they get off - in real time, of course. A Hanarapid between the clouds.

Compare that with Oracle. That's stone age versus real time. You just have to get into Walldorf, so Hana has to get out, if you get in now, the professor is very fast. But simple has to go. If not simple, you don't have to get off in the first place.

Complexity disappears in real time. That's how quickly you get rid of your money - er, gain simplicity. For a simple life you need - well, if you get into the Hanarapid now, you need a lot of money.

How simple is DB2 and SQL? Simple Life is only available in Potsdam at Professor Hana. Potsdam, Heidelberg, Walldorf and Munich then basically move closer to SAP - as my friend Hasso Stoiber, er, Professor Hana, er Edmund already said.

We, the SAP community, are for the Hanarapid - maybe not the whole community: A small village called DSAG will not get a Hanarapid, er, station for the Transrapid so easily and quickly.

Run simple, is the DSAG's motto! Where does the time run to? No problem in real time. Hanarapid is Realtime Enterprise. Thank you, dear Edmund Stoiber."

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